The Only Thing Left
by Sharon10
Summary: Nora Is Left Numb After Clint's Revenge Against Dorian Unwittingly Puts Matthew In Critical Condition. She Is Rescued From Her Demons By The Only Person Who Can Truly Understand- Bo. BoNora NOT For Clint Fans
1. Chapter 1

The Only Thing Left- Part 1

Nora walked into Matthew's room and just stood at the corner of his bed. It took every ounce of strength that she still had to even get that far. And yet she knew she had to face this. She had to get over the fear of this room… the last place she had seen her son before everything had changed.

She picked up an article of clothing that she found spread out on his bed and she brought it to her nose. She could still smell that scent that was just uniquely Matthew. Everything about him was in this room. And if she closed her eyes she could still see him laughing. She would give anything to hear that again… she would give anything to have him back.

Forcing back tears, she walked over to the dresser and placed her hand on the picture of her and Matthew that had been taken a few months ago. What were they smiling about; she wondered as she threw it across the room and watched the glass break into a million tiny pieces? Just like her life she thought as she struggled to get though another minute of another day. Every second was agony now. Every minute was torture. And every bone in her body hurt. Everything hurt now.

When she saw the baseball bat sitting by the dresser she slowly picked it up and stared at it through glassy eyes. And without knowing what she was doing, she swung it into the mirror. Then she started hitting harder as she became hysterical. She didn't even know what she had said. All she knew is that she couldn't look at it anymore. By the time Clint had arrived, she had destroyed everything in plain sight. He grabbed her to try to stop her from doing any more damage but she only fought him harder. The only thing that could be made out was her agonizing cries before she collapsed on the floor exhausted. Finally she looked at him… no emotion… just an empty hole where her heart used to be.

She had gone through Matthew's room in a fit of rage. She refused to accept it. She refused to be ok with it. She reused to stand here and look at all the reasons that he wasn't here. So she had trashed it. She had torn it apart. She had destroyed it. And in the end what the hell had it gotten her? She cried until she couldn't cry anymore. And when Clint looked at her now she was still clutching his clothes like her life depended on it.

Nora: Do you know that I've spent the last few months looking at this place… trying to imagine what my life would be like if he never came back… and you know what I come up with? Nothing. My life doesn't mean a damn thing without my son. And I can't sit here and pretend that I still have a life without him. I can't do this anymore Clint. I can't be ok with the fact that the best part of me is… see I can't even say it. (Pause) You want me to just snap my fingers and accept the fact that my son may never come back to me. How the hell am I supposed to do that Clint? How the hell can I even spend five minutes thinking that I may never see him again? That I May never look into those beautiful eyes of his? That I won't get the chance to tell him that I love him… that I'm so incredibly proud of him… and what about those moments that every parent wants to see when their children grow up… going to college, getting married, having a baby… how can I accept the fact that I may never get to watch my son live out his dreams? How can I accept the fact that he could be taken in such a senseless way? I can't do it Clint. I won't do it.

Clint: That's Not What I'm asking you to do?

Nora: Really? Then what _are_ you asking me to do? To forget about the fact that my son is in critical condition because I'm suddenly not giving you enough attention? When did you even_ care_ when Matthew was actually around. (Pause) You know what Clint? Screw you. I won't apologize for loving him more then my own life. And I_ certainly_ won't apologize for wanting to spend every waking moment I have willing him back to me. I… No don't. Don't touch me. You can't fix me. You can't fix him. And I'm sorry but I can't stand here and stroke your ego when I barely even have the energy to get out of bed in the morning.

Clint: Where are you going?

Nora: Somewhere where I don't have to worry about saying the wrong thing… Or doing the wrong thing… Or really just being the wrong person all together. (She put up her hands to stop him from speaking). I can't do this anymore Clint. I can't stand here and allow you to make me feel guilty for every damn thing I do. I'm done. If you want a woman that will just agree with everything you say and do then it sure as hell isn't me. You don't understand what this is doing to me. You don't understand the hell I go through every second of every day.

Clint: But Bo does right?

Nora: Oh here we go again. Everything I do is like some test to you. You want me to prove that I'm more loyal to you then Bo and then you get all bent out of shape when I won't turn my back on him. Well guess what Clint? Bo is the father of my son… your nephew I might add. And there is no way in hell that I will EVER walk away from him. Right now he's the only one who truly understands my pain because he feels it too. You can't possibly understand what it's like to have to live in a world without your child unless you're faced with that possibility. DON'T sit here and tell me you understand because if you knew a damn thing about either one of us you wouldn't expect us to just go on living as if nothing has changed. You would understand that it feels like a bullet in the heart… that the mere possibility of him leaving us makes me physically unable to breathe. And if you can't accept the fact that I can't go on with my life without my son then you don't know me at all. And if you don't know me then I don't want you in my life.

Clint: Where is all this coming from? Why are you so angry?

Nora: Maybe I just… maybe I'm finally accepting the fact that we don't make any sense together. You live your life by a set of rules that I don't agree with… A set of rules that ultimately put my son in a coma.

Clint: are you saying what I_ think_ you're saying? Are you blaming ME for Matthew's condition?

Nora: No. But I sure as hell blame you for the circumstances that led to it. If you hadn't been so consumed with getting back at Dorian then maybe an innocent child wouldn't have gotten caught in the cross fires… maybe MY son would be here right now and not in a hospital ICU waiting to find out if he still has any brain activity left. Maybe your brother and I wouldn't be faced with having to pull the plug if he doesn't. And I'll tell you right now… if I have to take my son off of life support I'm holding YOU personally responsible… and I'll NEVER forgive you… EVER. I don't care if it was an accident… I don't care if you're sorry… the _one_ thing I have NO tolerance for is people who hurt my kids. And that includes family members. You and I… We're DONE.

Clint: Nora, Come on, you don't mean that?

Nora: I mean every word. And really… what the hell did you expect? _Every_ time I look at you, I see what you did to my son. _This_ is what happens when you go after revenge Clint… Innocent people get caught in the crossfires. First Langston, Now Matthew… who's going to be next? Me, Your brother, My daughter… WHO? I don't want to stick around to find out. I'm DONE trying to change a man who will NEVER change. YOU'RE the one who killed us… not me. And right now I can't stand the sight of you.

Clint watched her run out of the house like it was on fire. And he knew that it was over. She had tried to leave him before. She had come as close to putting her things in the suitcase but she hadn't left… she had given him one more chance. She _always _gave him one more chance… But not this time… This time the light had gone out in her eyes… this time she was done. And she hadn't shed a single tear when she left either. And that was another reason he knew it was over… every time before she had been crying. This time she didn't feel a thing.

A few hours later, Bo found Nora on the docks. She was clutching something of Matthew's but he couldn't see what it was. He went to join her on the floor but she was barely speaking. She had just sat there in the rain looking out into the night without really looking at anything. He took his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders but she barely even flinched. He picked her up and carried her to his car but he didn't drive her home. He took her back to his place. He carried her to the bathroom and put her in the warm bath. He had no idea how long she had been sitting in the cold but she needed to get some body heat back so he figured that a warm bath would do the trick. He just had no idea how it would affect him to see her that way. She finally looked up at him and he took a brush off the counter. Without saying anything further, he ran it through her wet hair. She just stared at him.

Bo: Nora, baby, I'm here. I know how hard this is for you because I'm feeling it too. But please… please don't check out on me. I need you.

He found some old sweats and a T shirt and he helped her change into them. Then he pulled down the covers of his bed and helped her into it. He thought maybe she just needed to rest. He was going to leave the room and leave her to it when she suddenly called after him.

Nora: Don't. Don't leave me. I need you too.

He walked back to the bed and she sat up. He joined her on the bed. She just looked at him before she kissed him passionately. They both knew that everything about this night was etched in pain but they needed each other… it was the only thing they had left.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

The Only Thing Left- Part 2

The tears she thought were all cried out came down more freely now. He had tried to wipe them away but they were only added to tears of his own. How do you ever come to terms with the possibility of having to take your child off of life support? She wanted to kiss the pain away… the pain of Matthew's situation, the pain of knowing that Clint was responsible, the pain of the never being able to get it right with Bo… the pain of everything that was living and breathing right now. And when he kissed her back, he realized that he wanted the same thing. They couldn't change any of the pain they were in right now… they couldn't change what happened to Matthew… but maybe in a small way, they could make it hurt a little less by clinging to each other.

She clung to him as a child would often cling to a parent and as they fell into passion, he clung to her like a child lost in the night. Neither of them knew anything but pain… neither of them felt anything but numbness. They had managed to stop time for a few moments… for a few seconds they forgot about Matthew lying in a hospital bed or that the Buchanan's were being torn apart because of Clint's role in it… they forgot about everything but each other. And then reality set in.

She had gotten out of bed and went to the bathroom. He could hear her crying and it broke his heart. Opening the door, he went to sit by her as she hung her head in shame. He didn't know whether it was because they had done something she regretted or because they could feel any sort of pleasure at all. But when she finally looked up at him, he got his answer.

Nora: This isn't what you think you know? I would never regret a single second with you. I know I shouldn't be saying this at all considering that we're divorced but… but I feel like I would have ended up a whole lot worse if you hadn't been with me.

Bo: I know. I get it. You feel like you're betraying Matthew by feeling any kind of happiness at all… but you also feel like if you don't grab on for dear life you're going to sink.

Nora: You DO get it. I don't know why I should be so surprised. You're the only one who's going through it too. And for you it must be so much worse… you've already lost one child.

Bo: Doesn't mean that_ your _pain is any less. I thank God you never had to know the pain of loosing a child. It destroys you Nora. And you never deserved to be anywhere near that.

Nora: But I was Bo. I watched you loose Drew. He was your son and that made him mine. That was what you never understood. I had my issues with him but they were NEVER because I didn't love him. They were because I loved you.

Bo (Pausing): And what about now? Are you really going to tell me that you love my brother after…?

Nora: After he got Matthew shot? Its ok Bo… you don't have to coddle me… you can say it. I screwed up my life once again. I put my faith and my trust in a cold hearted bastard who cared more about revenge then he ever did about me. And no amount of "I Told You So's" Are going to make me feel any worse then I already do. I'm sorry Bo. This is all my fault… I put our son in danger. If I had just…

Bo (Cutting her off): Don't you _dare_ put this on yourself. YOU didn't get Matthew shot. You're the best thing that ever happened to our son… and I thank God every day that he had such an incredible mother because he never had much of a father.

Nora: That's not your fault Bo. It's not your fault that you weren't there because you didn't know.

Bo: But I still walked out on you when you were pregnant.

Nora: You had every right to.

Bo: But if I had known he was my son…

Nora: You would have done everything in your power to be there for him. I know you Bo. You're a great father. This isn't any more your fault then it is mine. We both made mistakes. But at the end of the day we both love that kid more then anything in the world. The ONLY person to blame for this is Clint. He's the one who set the wheels in motion. He's the one who betrayed us.

Bo: I still don't understand it Nora. It all feels like some horrible dream.

Nora: I was there and I still don't understand it. Clint just made excuses when I caught him on the phone with a private investigator. He found some dirt on Dorian and he thought he could use it to his advantage. When I found out about it, I begged him to let it go. I had a bad feeling about this Bo. I just KNEW that someone innocent would get caught in the cross fires and I didn't want anyone to get hurt. But Clint wouldn't listen. He was determined to get back what he thought he was entitled to. Only things didn't go quite as planned. Dorian wouldn't hand over the company… instead she just hired a hit man to teach him a lesson. They weren't supposed to kill him… just wound him enough to scare him into backing off. The only problem is that Matthew came home early that day. He had an in service and he just wanted to have some hot chocolate and go on his computer.

Bo: Like mother like son.

Nora: Yeah well this hit man obviously didn't have any qualms about putting out a hit with a child in the room because as soon as Clint walked in the room, I heard the gunshots. I tried to get to Matthew but Clint pushed me out of the way. The next thing I knew he was laying in a puddle of blood. Why didn't he protect Matthew Bo? I could have taken care of myself… But Matthew was a child. Not only did he not protect him, he wouldn't let ME protect him. I'm his mother… It's my job to protect him. I failed him.

Bo: No Nora… Clint failed him. He should have done a hell of a lot more for him… and for you. I'm sorry you both got caught in the cross fires. I can't even stand the sight of him right now.

Nora: Do you have ANY idea how much I hate him right now? Every time I look at him, I see Matthew getting shot. I destroyed his room because I couldn't look at it anymore. And all Clint can think about is his wounded ego. I'm so sick and tired of hearing about how he saved his family's legacy. What good is a legacy if your family is gone?

Bo: Is there anything I can do to make it easier for you? Seeing you on the docks like that scared the hell out of me because it…

Nora: It reminded you of how _you_ were when Drew Died.

Bo: Yeah it did. And I don't want you to go down that road Sweetheart. You're the strongest person I know… But you were broken tonight. I don't even know how to put you back together anymore.

Nora: You can't Bo. I'm not going to survive if Matthew dies.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

The only thing left- Part 3

Bo: Nora… Nora I need you to try to be ok. I know how hard this is for you… believe me I know. But what you don't seem to understand is that I'd never survive if something happened to you. It's hard enough knowing that we could loose our son but you're the only reason I'm still standing… please Nora… Don't give up on yourself.

Nora: How am I supposed to go on if my son dies?

Bo: I don't know but you find a way. Look at me? I never thought I'd survive loosing Drew but I did.

Nora: Yeah and _look_ what happened when you lost him? Bo… my whole life was wrapped up in you and then Drew died. Not only did I loose the greatest love I've ever known but I lost myself in the process. I swore I'd never go back there but if Matthew doesn't make it, I don't see how I can help it. Look at me now Bo… I'm not eating… I'm barely sleeping… I can't even look at Matthew's room without loosing it… and I'm so depressed that I spend every waking moment either balling my eyes out or not feeling anything at all.

Bo: I know… but we have to find a way to keep going. It's not easy but we have to. What other choice have we got?

Nora: I don't know… hiding under the covers.

Bo: As tempting as that may be, I don't think that's a very realistic option do you?

Nora: Probably not. But I'm so sick of well intentioned people telling me how sorry they are. And the looks Bo… I don't want to be pitied. This isn't what I need. I don't need people looking at me like I'm going to crack… I don't need people whispering behind my back about how pathetic my life is right now… and I certainly don't need anyone feeling sorry for me. I get that people don't know how to respond but I can't handle the people who act like he's already dead and I don't want the sympathy. If people want to do something then why don't they get down on their hands and knees and pray. Matthew needs a miracle right now… So do we.

Bo: Then maybe what we should be doing is something to show that we believe he'll get better.

Nora: And how do you suggest we do that?

Bo: Maybe we should find a new house for him to come home to? I'm assuming you're moving out of the mansion?

Nora: Yeah I am. I can't go back to Clint after this.

Bo: Then why don't we find a nice house for you to live in. Then we can fix it up with all the things he loves. Maybe in the meantime it will give us something to focus on.

Nora: I think that's a great idea. I just… Bo I need to ask you for one more favor. Well two really.

Bo: you know that I would do anything for you.

Nora: Then will you help me leave your brother. I'm afraid that if I go back there by myself he's not going to let me leave. And I need to get out of there today. I can't just leave all my things there. When I ran out of the house, it was with nothing but the clothes on my back. I have memories there. And I don't want him to think that I'm a coward but…

Bo: The LAST thing you are is a coward. You're being smart Nora. He put our son in the ICU. It's only natural that you'd be afraid.

Nora: So you'll help me?

Bo: Of course I'll help you. And to answer your next question… you can stay with me for as long as you need.

Nora (Smiling): Thanks Bo. Thanks for being the one person I can count on. I don't know what I'd do without you. You're the only thing keeping me sane right now.

Bo: I know how you feel. I feel the exact same way about you. (Pause) Why don't you use my shower and get cleaned up before we go. I know how you always liked those long hot showers in the morning.

Nora: I felt that way when I shared them with you. Now… Now I don't enjoy them as much.

Bo (Pausing): If you'd feel better then…

Nora: I'm not sure that's a good idea. I mean what is this thing that we have Bo? Is it just incredible sex or is it something more? Because right now the lines seem a little blurred.

She walked into the bathroom and shut the door. Bo just stared at the empty room. He wondered how it was possible that she didn't know. He was just about to start cleaning up the mess when there was a knock at the door.

Bo: What the hell do you want Clint?

Clint: I want to know what the hell you did with my Fiancé.

Bo: Don't you mean EX Fiancé? (Pause) she's in the shower. You're welcome to wait but somehow I don't think she'll be very receptive.

Clint: What exactly does THAT mean?

Bo: It means she's not yours anymore. And you've got nobody to blame but yourself. And THAT means the playing field is wide open again.

Clint: So you're just going to pretend like I don't even exist now?

Bo: You _don't_ exist. As far as I'm concerned I don't_ have_ a brother. And I'm pretty sure Nora wishes she never got involved with you. So maybe it's time we wiped the slate clean and tried to start over. You made your bed Clint… now you can lie in it.

Clint: So that's it then… you're just going to turn your back on your family

Bo: No Clint that would be you.

Clint: She was my fiancée…

Bo: She was my Wife

Clint: So what? You want her back? You're going to make a play for her now?

Nora: He doesn't have to. He's already got me.

Clint: What does THAT mean?

They both turned around to see Nora standing there in front of them in nothing but a towel. It amazed them how she could stop traffic with just one look. And wearing a towel… God she was beautiful. She had these piercing eyes that could just look right through you. And nobody was going to doubt that her body was practically flawless… and that was on a bad day… on a good day she was absolutely breathtaking. Today was a good day.

She had about a million different smiles that could just light up a room and if you were lucky you knew exactly which one was for which reason. The trouble with Nora is she almost never knew what that was… she was a woman of spontaneity and she was never aware of her beauty. That's what made her so amazing… she was so humble.

But when you had her heart… you were the luckiest man alive… and every guy who knew her spent eternity trying to either gain it or hold on to it… but no man was ever immune. Nora Hanen was the definition of your perfect woman. She wasn't exactly perfect but she made even her imperfections seem like everything you could ever want. And no man who has ever loved her has been able to get her out of their system. She was intoxicating. She was exasperating. She was frustrating. But she was pure happiness.

They both seemed to hold their breaths when she walked from the mirror towards them. Nora knew exactly what she was doing and she was tempted to take advantage of that but decided against it. She simply walked over to where Bo was standing and looped her arm through his. He seemed to catch on immediately and put his arm around her waist, pulling her close just as she wanted. Then she looked at Clint.

Nora: It means that we had incredible… no scratch that… Mind blowing… sex… so deal with it. There's no way in hell I'm coming back to _you_ after_ that_.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

The Only Thing Left- Part 4

Nora looked Clint dead in the eyes, and he could tell that she was looking right through him. There not only wasn't any love left, there was no longer any hate… she just didn't care. And he almost thought that was worse... at least when she was yelling at him there was something there. This… this indifference just destroyed him.

Nora: What's the matter Clint? You don't feel so big and powerful now that you can't push me around anymore? Too bad… get over it. You will no longer crush me. That ended with Matthew.

Clint: How many times are you going to make me suffer for that?

Nora: No more… I'm done. I'm done with you. And if you thought I could ever live with you after that then you don't know me at all.

Clint: I'm beginning to think that's true. It took you what? Five minutes… to jump in the sack with my brother. Couldn't you have at least waited for the bed to get cold? Or is that _exactly_ how you like it… you always have to have two men don't you Nora?

She pulled herself out of Bo's arms and walked over to Clint. She didn't wait to be provoked any further. She just slapped him.

Nora: I don't think that what I do or who I do it with is any of your business. I broke up with you remember… or did me slamming the door in your face not register with you? Were you naive enough to think that I would EVER come back to you… because if you did then that's YOUR problem?

Clint: Where in the world is all this anger coming from?

Bo: Maybe it's because you put our son in critical condition and nearly killed HER in the process.

Clint: Was I talking to you… No I don't believe I was.

Bo: Then stop treating her like you own her. In case you haven't figured it out, she's not some business merger or some piece of property that you can just discard. She's a person… and she has feelings. You took advantage of every good quality she ever had. You DON'T deserve her forgiveness… or mine.

Clint: Is that how you REALLY feel Nora?

Nora: _Your damn right it is_. I gave you everything I had… I TRUSTED You… I forgave you time and time again even when it was the LAST thing you deserved. And how did you repay me… by choosing your stupid revenge against Dorian over me… after I _begged_ you to choose us. There was ALWAYS something in your life that was more important then I was. You never once put me first. And you know what? I'm sick of it. I deserve better then what you gave me. So you can take your so called love and shove it. I don't EVER want to see you again. As a matter of fact I want you to get all of your things and get the hell out of my house.

Clint: You're actually going to kick me out?

Nora: Why shouldn't I? I'M not the one who did anything wrong. And if you fight me on this, I am going to have you arrested so fast your head will spin.

Clint: What happened to you? You used to be so forgiving.

Nora: Did you just expect me to give you an unlimited amount of second chances? At what cost Clint? You've already destroyed my son's life… and you destroyed every dream I ever had. See I don't even know if I'm going to be able to wake up in the morning because I always have this fear that it's going to be the day I get the call. YOU did that to me….

Clint: And I'm sorry just doesn't matter anymore? After everything we've been through?

Nora: What have we been through Clint? I mean honestly… _what?_ I've never been anything more then just a prize to you… something you could take away from your brother. I don't want to play that game anymore. I don't want to be just an arm piece you can show off and prove to your brother that you won. I'm more then just you're so called girlfriend or Bo's ex wife or Matthew and Rachel's mother… I'm Nora Hanen, the woman. You never got that about me… and I want it back. I don't want to be defined by who I'm with or what I do.

Bo: You never were Nora. Not to me.

Nora: I know. But I was to him. I was always considered "his." I'm getting off of that train Clint. You and I were a mistake I should have ended a long time ago so you know what? (She took the ring off of her finger and threw it at him) Consider us un- engaged… and this time don't be stupid enough to think I'm ever coming back. I want you out of my house, and out of my life. And that means in every way. Don't call, don't write, don't email, don't text… and if you see me on the street, then cross it. We're over. Now please just get the hell out. Looking at you now makes me physically ill. I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe in you.

She walked into the other room to go get changed and Bo turned to Clint.

Bo: I think you've just been dumped.

Clint: You're enjoying this aren't you?

Bo: Why would I enjoy watching Nora suffer? She deserves everything good in this world… it sure as hell isn't you.

Clint: And you think you can just steal her don't you?

Bo: It's not stealing when she wants to be stolen. (He opened the door so he could leave) Get the hell out. And don't get any ideas about coming around again. You go near her… you even look at her funny… I'll get a restraining order.

Clint: Is this really what we've come to now… making threats?

Bo: It's not a threat Clint… It's a promise. I WON'T let you hurt her again.

Clint: Don't you care that we're family.

Bo: We're_ not_ family anymore Clint. You destroyed everything I ever felt for you. And now… now I just want to forget you ever existed. You're dead to me.

Clint: Is that why you're going after Nora?

Bo: IF I went after Nora, it wouldn't be for any reason other then because I love her.

Clint: Do you? Do you really love her?

Nora: I'd like to know the answer to that one myself. Do you love me Bo? I mean REALLY love me? Or is this just something you're saying to hurt your brother.

Clint: Now who's the smug one?

Nora: I want you to leave Clint… NOW. You can either go quietly or I'll call security.

Clint: Ok fine… But you're making a mistake.

Nora: The ONLY mistake I made was trusting you. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

After she slammed the door in his face, she turned to Bo.

Nora: I expect an answer to that Bo. Are you in love with me?

Bo: Do you really think I'm anything like my brother Nora? I could never say anything I didn't mean… not even to hurt him.

Nora: I'm sorry… I didn't mean to compare you to your brother. You're NOTHING like him. It's just…

Bo: I know. You were surprised. I was surprised too.

Nora: So that's a yes.

Bo: Do you want it to be?

Nora: Stop stalling. I want the truth. Are you or are you not in love with me? And please Bo… I've had enough lies to last a lifetime… don't YOU start.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

The only thing left- Part 5

Bo: Do I love you?

Nora: I think that's a logical question Bo. It's not like I'm asking for a marriage proposal. I just want to know where we stand. Quit looking at me like I have two heads.

Bo: I just—I'm not really sure how to answer that.

Nora: The truth might be nice.

Bo: What if I don't know what that is?

Nora: Then tell me what you DO know and we'll go from there.

There was a brief pause as Nora took a seat on the bed and he kneeled down in front of her. He took her hands in his as he looked at her.

Bo: I think we both know that you and I have some sort of connection. We've sort of been walking this fine line for over a decade now haven't we?

Nora: You could say that. And there have _honestly_ been times when I couldn't tell if you loved me or you hated me. And I'll be honest-- I didn't know which one would be worse. Even when you hated me, at least it was _something_. It was the indifference that killed me.

Bo: I know. And I think that's why I pushed you _so_ hard. I would rather you hate me then feel nothing at all. And I thought that if I gave you what you asked for—

Nora: You mean, your forgiveness—

Bo: Yeah—I thought that if I forgave you then you would have no reason to be a part of my life. Why would you want anything to do with me? And I'm not talking about our son. I know that there would always be that connection… but what about me Nora? I just couldn't stand the thought that you could move on without me? And I know that I told you it's what I wanted but—

Nora: But deep down it strangled you? That's how _I_ felt when you _made_ me sign those divorce papers. I didn't want to do it Bo. And I was looking over those papers and trying to find some sort of sense in them but there_ wasn't_ any. There wasn't a spot on those papers that said that if you had the chance you would do it all again. There wasn't any room for memories. Irreconcilable differences—_what the hell does that even mean Bo_? Our marriage had come down to a few words—we were just a piece of paper. And_ all_ I _really_ wanted to do was tear them up and ask you to tell me how the hell we could walk away from the best thing that ever happened to us. I wanted you to tell me how I was supposed to get over you.

Bo: And_ I_ wanted _you_ to tell _me_ how I was supposed to get over _you_.

Nora: _Are you serious?_ You made it look so easy. I thought you had completely washed your hands of me. When you walked away, you made it look like the easiest thing in the world. You had moved on so fast and so effortlessly—I didn't think you had_ anything_ left for_ me_. I would have sworn that you didn't want, love or need me anymore. You just traded me in for a new model like it was the most natural thing in the world. All those years we spent together—they didn't seem like they mattered to you—_I_ didn't matter to you—not anymore.

Bo: You couldn't have been more wrong. The truth is that _I've _been trying to get over_ you_ since I walked out that door. I never quite got there.

Nora: What about all those other women?

Bo: I thought that if I could just make myself be with them then maybe it would hurt a little less. And I chose women that were so completely opposite of you because I knew that it was the _only_ way I stood a chance. The simple fact is that there is only _one_ you. I could spend my whole life searching for—God knows what I'm even looking for anymore… I'd _always_ come up short. I could find people to replace a job or even help me through the night but there's not damn a thing I can do about my heart because_ nobody_ has what_ you_ have—_nobody_ is _you._

Nora (Tears in her eyes): I'm going to need you to say it Bo. If you feel it—if you want it—then _own_ it.

He took his hands and brushed the tears that were still on her face. He spoke softly as he looked deeply in her eyes.

Bo: If you want to know if I think about you then the answer is yes… all the time. If you want to know if you still make my heart do flip flops then I should tell you that right now I feel like I can't breathe. You make it physically impossible for me to put two words together or form any kind of rational thought. And I see that look in your eyes so I know you're wondering if I think about making love to you—Nora, _any _man with eyes would _want_ that. You are without a doubt the most breathtaking woman I have EVER met.

Nora: Still didn't answer my question.

Bo: Would you let me finish then?

She gave him a look as he continued.

Bo: Nora Buchanan, _you_ are the _answe_r to _every_ single_ one_ of my prayers… even the ones I _didn't_ ask for. I could tell you that I love you—that I never really stopped—or even that you fill up my heart to the point where I don't think I own it anymore— But the truth is that I don't think that _any_ words could accurately describe the depth of emotion that I feel for you.

Nora: So what you're saying is?

Bo: What I'm saying is that— Nora, I forgive you. I know that I've wasted a lot of years being a jack ass but I've never been more sorry for anything in my life because letting you go was the worst thing I ever did.

Nora: Your damn right it was.

Bo: Ok—so what I should be asking YOU is if you can forgive ME.

Nora: What if I can? You're_ still_ not telling me what you want?

Bo: Are you going to make me spell it out for you?

Nora: Why should I make things easy for you Bo? You NEVER did for me.

Bo: Point taken.

Nora: So?—what do you want Bo?

Bo: You. I just want you.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

The only thing left- Part 6

Nora: me? Are you saying you want me back?

Bo: Would that be such a bad thing?

Nora: I'm not saying it would be. I'm just trying to wrap my head around all of this because before Matthew was hurt, you were pretty adamant that you wanted nothing to do with me. If you're expecting me to just go running into your arms just because you asked—

Bo: Nora, I don't expect that from you. Hell, I don't even expect you to forgive me. The way that I've acted—the way that I've treated you---

Nora: It's been pretty heartless Bo. I've tried to understand—I've tried to overlook—but I'm only human —I can only handle so much pain. You ripped my heart out and as it was lying there on the ground, you stomped on it. You'll have to forgive me for not being so quick to hand it back to you. How do I know you're not going to tear it apart the first chance you get?

Bo: I guess you don't. I'd tell you to trust me but I don't think that's a logical question since I haven't given you much reason to. I know that it has to be earned.

Nora: You're right Bo—it does. And right now I'm not even sure that I'm in the emotional place to be able to give you anything. I trusted your brother Bo. I might not have loved him in the same way I loved you but it was still love. I couldn't spend the rest of my life waiting for you to throw me a crumb so I had to move on. I wanted to have a life that wasn't all wrapped up in you. I thought I had found that with Clint—but he lied to me—he chose revenge over me—and because of that our son is fighting for his life. I can't promise you anything because I don't know what I even have to give. Matthew is all I think about— and if we have to take him off life support—Bo, I don't know what's going to happen to me. I can't even begin to imagine a life without my son—I know you know how that feels—

Bo: Better then I wish I did.

Nora: Then you know that it's not fair for me to be making any kind of life altering decisions right now. They could change in a split second. Matthew could be---

When she started to cry, he wrapped his arms around her as she struggled to find her voice.

Bo: Can I just ask you one thing then?

Nora: What?

Bo: Was everything that happened between us here? Nora, was it really just because of Matthew? Are you saying that there really isn't anything more?

Nora (Pausing): That's not what I'm saying at all.

Bo: Then what ARE you saying?

Nora: Bo, I don't think it's really any secret how I feel about you. Everyone knew it but you. And I would love nothing more then to tell you that we can go back and try to get it right but that's not really a choice I can be making right now. First of all, I'm still numb from the pain of what Clint did to me. He could have saved Matthew but he chose not to. He brought a hit man into my home when my child was in the room. And instead of calling it off—instead of listening to reason—he got him shot. In my mind, he is just as much to blame as the one who pulled the trigger. And then there's Matthew—we have to be realistic here Bo. He's not in a good place. I go to the hospital every day trying to will him back to me and every day it's the same. There's no change. What if he's like this for the rest of his life? What if our child is a Vegetable? Or what if he's not and is no longer with us? We don't have a lot of options Bo. He can wake up and have brain damage or some other kind of mental disorder. He can be brain dead and we have to take him off of life support. He could be in a coma for the rest of his life—

Bo: or he could wake up and be just fine. You beat the odds Nora. Why can't he?

Nora: There is nothing I want more. But what happens if he doesn't? Don't you understand that it's all I think about? I can't get my mind to shut off. I sit there watching him and a million different things run through my head—and then I remember why I'm here and I have this incredible rage. I wish I could give you what you want Bo. But right now it is all I can do to get out of bed in the morning. You know what my big thing was today? I made a cup of coffee. I actually made it all the way down to the kitchen and turned on the pot without collapsing in tears. And you know how much sleep I got last night? Probably 2 hours. And that's the most I've gotten in weeks.

Bo: I know. Nobody knows what you're feeling more then me. My big thing today was walking passed his room without having this urge to break something. But I guess you took care of that didn't you?

Nora: I just got tired of looking at it. Looking at a time when we were happy. When Matthew was happy—when he was awake and planning a future. A parent is not supposed to go through this Bo. And it hurts too damn much.

Bo: I know. That's why I have this—

He pulled out the bottle of Bourbon and sipped it and then he passed it to her. She smiled as she drank.

Nora: Are you hoping to get me drunk so you'll have an excuse to sleep with me again?

Bo: Not unless it's what _you_ want.

Nora: Well—it _is_ a way to not feel anything. And right now I would rather not have to think or rationalize or really feel anything at all. I know that using sex as an escape is wrong but I don't know what else to do. It hurts too much to feel.

Bo: Then why don't we just go with what works for now. When it stops working, we'll think of something else.

Nora: That sounds like a plan. And just so you know Bo—I _do_ love you. When I'm able to feel anything other then pain, I remember what it feels like to love you and to be loved in return. If we weren't going through the worst time in our life then I might be more open to this discussion.

Bo: Then I'll just have to keep coming back won't I?

Nora: I hope you do. There's nothing I want more then to be able to trust in you—in me—in us. I just don't trust a damn thing right now. I don't even trust the sun to come out in the morning.

Bo: Then why don't you let me take care of you tonight? Maybe things will look different in the morning.

She said nothing more as he took the bottle out of her hand and started to kiss her passionately.

TBC


End file.
